Do you have a corporate slapper?

Back when I was working for one of the world's more bureaucratic organizations, there was a certain manager who was a walking bad attitude, obstacle to any progress other than her own, and certainly a candidate for a good slapping.

HR policy being what it is, she remained somewhat confidently insulated and managed a good deal of swagger up until the day she was finally ousted from her position as the team's resident paterfamilias. What we needed was Malcolm.



Malcolm Fry - the corporate slapper. Here's a video to explain exactly how this works.

Just how important is a smart healthcare IT executive?

Not many issues approach the universal concern over the healthcare situation (crisis?) in this country.  The changing role of the CIO at a hospital or other health service provider seemed like a great topic for a few questions.  

So I asked Patrick Moroney, who is among the best authorities out there in this area, for his candid opinions.  Here's the interview with Patrick that came out in TechRepublic today.  (Add your comment and/or vote if you like it.)

Thanks!

Have IBM and Google noticed the $20B ERP market?

If you haven't seen it already, I hope you'll take a look at my interview with Jeffrey Carr on ERP in TechRepublic.  If you like it, be sure to click on the "worthwhile?" voting button at the top right.  It's also portable in a free PDF download (link right below the intro).

* Speaking of free downloads, you can get a free sample of Starbucks new Via instant right here.  Not in time for this month's survey, but give it a try.  (thanks Jon -)

Detroit in the crosshairs at the auto show

Japanese steel was a different story than its car manufacturers. Under the Marshall plan after the second world war, the allies (mainly the US) rebuilt Japan's steel plants with the result that our own aging mills couldn't compete. 

In the auto industry on the other hand, Detroit started by ignoring Deming, then ignored Japan (and Korea), and now is looking for tax dollars to finance the effects.  With their very existence in the balance, looking only slightly more viable than Joaquin Phoenix's rap music career, you might expect they would emphasize a good showing in the annual auto show circuit, like the one going on in Chicago right now.  Not necessarily that they would make a record financial investment, but a smart one.

You might expect to see Saturn distance itself a bit from parent GM and its $30B request to the US taxpayer this month.  You might expect to see some vision for hybrids or electrics that trumps the competition.  Most importantly, you might expect a different presentation of new ideas and products than you could find on the internet ("this vehicle has six cylinders and has sunroof, leather and automatic transmission options").  No.  None of the above.

An expo is not a giant television ad. TV is more or less a scripted visual storytelling for the masses, punctuated by zero-interaction advertising that is increasingly blaring and increasingly ignored - or tivoed out entirely.  The internet makes a huge leap by providing more interaction, customization and selective content.  If you enter the right keywords, you can find it.  But a live event offers dialog and personal experience and should highlight the strongest presentation points you have to offer.  A car I can see in the parking lot outside the show is not extraordinary enough to be in the auto show.  Seeing a vehicle from behind a ropeline is not necessarily extraordinary either.  A display of a vehicle where you can't sit behind the wheel, or where the sales reps can only repeat the factory specs might as well be online.

There were a couple automakers with impressive concept cars you won't see on the street and reps who could compare different vehicles and knew enough about cars in general enough to ask you questions back, but they weren't from Detroit.  VW and Acura were the standouts in my book.  Saab's replacement of the Aero-X with a beautiful concept convertible was a show-stopper, and the rep had a wonderful Scandanavian accent while most of the reps were clearly hired guns.

I still enjoyed the auto show of course.  I'd just like to see the automakers, especially the ones in Detroit, make better use of our tax dollars with their marketing.  Only two companies asked for my e-mail address.  Auto marketers should be at least as good as the US Army's impressive display at the same show.  They did an outstanding job by comparison.

note: If you plan to make it to this year's show in Chicago, be sure to stop by a Shell station to fill up on your way and get their half-price tickets for admission.  If you have a couple people with you, it will pay for your parking.

Mark Cuban's Open Source Funding Rules

Feeling Mavericky?  This week's offer by broadcast.com billionaire Mark Cuban to provide stimulus funding for entrepreneurs offers a few guidelines that the public sector might do well to imitate.  

As the federal job-creation stimulus package rolls out with $30 million taxpayer dollars earmarked for Nancy Pelosi's favorite kind of mouse, Cuban's open source funding offer lays out a few ground rules worth noting:

- Your plan must be posted publicly - transparent and imitable

- 60 days to break-even

- 90 days to show a profit

- Flat organizational structure

- No guarantees of continuation

- Cash flow is monitored

- No Multi-level marketing

- (best of all) Any agreement with Mark will be published openly

Want to take a shot at the cash (no minimum and no maximum) for your current or startup business? You can see the full details of Cuban's offer posted in his blog here.

Ironic Choices

There's a certain irony in offering silly choices.  Does anyone press the "No, I don't want a receipt" button at the gas pump, or press 9 when they want to hang up the phone?

Then there's the irony of offering a choice that doesn't really exist.  A proud union member is issued his obligatory bumper sticker "Union - Yes" with a picture of a check box.  Of course "Yes" is the only vote there is.  If you want the job, you're in the union.

This kind of irony has left Detroit in a bad way these days.  The UAW, in its upward-ratcheting need for self-perpetuation, call the shots like Rod Effen Blagojevich's wife screaming vulgarities in the background of his now famous phone calls.  "Labor demands" are not balanced with any "labor accountability" for performance.  The CEO's are up in front of Congress, but the shrewish-wife union bosses are in the wings telling them why they can't make those concessions.  

This situation is aggravated by a poor economy, but the latest reviews of the big three show a continuing lack of competitiveness.  Depending on blind patriotic loyalty from your customers more than competitive excellence in a free market is rather unpatriotic.  

So is pretending there's a choice where there isn't.

Caribou Bumps The Brand Owner

Americans drink more coffee than any other country in the world.

So it's a big deal when the current brand owner (here's a little word association - coffee: ______ ) shows up as an also-ran. At least one reason Starbucks is closing stores and locking up for an afternoon of re-training is Caribou, a little company out of Minneapolis with stores in 16 states.

The atmosphere at every Caribou I've ever been to is great, and wi-fi is free, vs. a charge of about $4 for two hours at Starbucks, down from the old $10 rate. But those are the perks (ha!) - the core product is still the coffee right? While I've always thought Caribou's product was competitive, I'm no connoisseur, so take the results of the March Consumer Reports coffee survey. Caribou's Columbia Timana comes in second only to Eight O'Clock's 100% Columbian for flavor, and for you coffee-achievers, it's highest among the top four for caffeine content at 195 mg/cup. (Starbucks top brew comes in at #4, but that puts it in the "good" category, down a notch from the "very good.")

For the long haul, build your brand on a quality product and customer service (and a little caffeine helps too).